The Search for Significance

26 The Search For Significancewe turn to others who judge our worth by ourability to meet their standards.Because our performance and our ability toplease others so dominates our search for significance,we have difficulty recognizing the distinctionbetween our real identity and the way we behave,a realization crucial to understanding ourtrue worth. Our true worth is not based on ourbehavior or the approval of others. It is based onwhat God's Word says is true of us. Our behavior,then, is a reflection of our beliefs about who weare. Our behavior is consistent with what wethink to be true about ourselves (Proverbs 23:7). Ifwe base our worth solidly on the truths of God'sWord, our behavior will reflect His love, grace andpower. But if we base our worth on our abilitiesor the fickle approval of others, our behavior willreflect the insecurity, fear, and anger that comesfrom that unstable base.My dog, Whitey, fritters away time sleeping.When he isn't sleeping, he's busy barking atstrangers and scratching at fleas. It is behaviorI've come to expect from my pet. But suppose youand I decide to behave like my dog. Suppose westarted spending our time sleeping, crawlingaround on our hands and knees, barking atstrangers and passing cars. Suddenly we beginperforming like my dog, but that behavior doesnot make us dogs! The way we behave is only anexpression of the beliefs we hold about ourselves,not an indication of our true worth. Therefore,we cannot experience a permanent change in ourbehavior without first changing what we believeabout ourselves.This truth is evident in the case of Scott. Scottgrew up in a home without praise, being discouragedby his parents whenever he attempted anythingnew and challenging. After twenty years ofhearing, "You'll never be able to do anything,

The Saving Solution vs. Satan's Snare 27Scott, so don't even try," he believed it himself.Neither Scott nor his parents could now understandwhy he flunked out of college and continuallyshuffled from one job to another, never ableto achieve success. Believing he was doing thebest he could do but knowing he would alwaysfail, Scott consistently performed according to hisself-perception.Separated from God and His Word, people haveonly their abilities and the opinions of others onwhich to base their worth, and the circumstancesaround them willultimately control the way theyfeel about themselves.Take the case of Stacy, a young girl who becamepregnant when she was just seventeen. Stacygave her baby up for adoption, and only her familyknew of the incident. Several years later,Stacy fell in love with and married a loving mannamed Ron. Fearing his reaction, she never toldRon about the baby. Over the years, Stacy concealedher guilt and grief until finally, the pressurebecame too overwhelming and she admittedthe entire episode to Ron.Surprisingly, Ron did not respond in anger. Heunderstood the agony she had carried for so manyyears and loved her in spite of her past. However,it was Stacy who at this point could not cope.Unable to accept Ron's forgiveness and knowingshe had failed according to society's standards,Stacy felt unworthy of Ron's love. Stacy couldnot forgive herself and chose to leave her husband.In this case, Stacy fell victim to one of Satan'smost effective lies: "Those who fail are unworthy oflove and deserve to be blamed and condemned."Because she failed in her own eyes, Stacy's perceptionof herself was affected. Each of us hasprobably failed badly at some point in our lives.Perhaps some particular sin or weakness has